Taking the road less travelled

So this is going to be a kind of post that I haven't done for quite a while but I feel like I need to change the subject matter a bit and just get my head in the game of life again. Following my post last week, I took a bit of a tumble mentally and almost felt like the stress of being cooped up while under #level5oflockdown had hit home. I'm not going to deny that the last week has not shown its share of meltdowns because it has.

Everything that a person could think of was hitting me like a ton of bricks. I had to deal with my first trip to the malls in a month and also work like a headless chicken to get paperwork sorted out for my brother, who is still stuck in Dubai, onto the embassy database so he can get repatriation flight and come home. Hopefully he will be at the end of the month. Holding thumbs.

My head was literally spinning. I felt like I was going to collapse. So I have spent the better part of the last few days, just trying to figure everything out. This time in all our lives has really made me feel like I want to do something reckless, but I stopped myself because when it comes to things like technology, my parents really need me, they struggle to get it to work for them in terms of the more complex things, that only I can sort out.

It was Mother's day on Sunday and luckily I managed to get some time with my mom and also happened to be the 2 year anniversary of my uncle's passing, so I had to deal with that. A lot of pressure tends to get put on me and generally I can handle it when I put it on myself and know what needs to be done and get it done. The stress about it hits when I have to do it for others. To top it off, I had trouble with my Twitter because I couldn't share things to it. It seems to be sorted out now, so if you want to follow me there you can find me at. www.twitter.com/SellickHelen and check out all my content on there.

I'm going to keep things to the last 48 hours in terms of the usual story with #ootd, so, here goes. Starting with yesterday:

Carrying on with a bit of the pink theme today:

The little starlets are shining bright these days Perfect colour matches all around. Here is yesterday's:

Today's starlet was no different. Check this out:

Now, I have to show, how beautiful these looks are when put together, comfortable but stylish:

See what I mean, now look at today:

Its still fairly warm at the moment but the cool temperatures are starting to set in and at least I still get to enjoy the beautiful weather in my sanctuary, here is yesterday:

Today has been just as beautiful:

We are only limited to certain times to exercise right now. This bugs me to no end because I absolutely hate restrictions on anything. It was one of the reasons I chose to work the way I do and I like to go for walks whenever I want and the take my time for the rest of the day. Not having seen my grandmother who is also my last remaining grandparent has also taken its toll on me. I haven't seen her since my birthday and that was seven weeks ago. I really miss her and really want to see her. The useless management team there have no concept of thinking for themselves and just do what head office tell them and that is that.

Today has just been one of those days where I just want to vent my frustrations because I am so sick of this crap with this lockdown. I have been changing the context of my posts everywhere because I am so sick of the whole thing. I understand that it is a virulent time and people do get sick, most don't even show symptoms so it is near impossible to get a real proper count. I'm not asking to go back to just certain times, I just want freedom of movement that is my own and that is what is really irritating me. As I have said, I hate limitations on anything. It just feels wrong to me and I just want to be able to do that again.

I changed my tune to not just cheer myself up but to let people know that they are not alone and we are all feeling the same way right about now. I am actually glad that I can move around again, I just want total freedom again and the sooner the better. This has hit me more mentally than anything else. I think that has only really hit me like this now due to my history with mental health issues as everyone is aware of. So, it is more to put a mental perspective on how this affects everyone and I am no different because as many have said, this whole saga will affect a person mentally way before it affects you physically.

It feels really good right now to have been able to get this out of my system and I have started writing my book as well. I have told my mom that I will need help with getting all the details right and making sure it is all there. It is going to be a tell all book. I have been through alot and spanning over four different decades and it covers every aspect of my life. Let me give you a few clues, I was born in the 1980s, grew up in the 1990s and 2000s (high school and university) and have spent my adult life in the 2010s. So I have a lot to tell. No details are being left out, of that much I am making sure. It will be called Shining Light and is my life story through this time. This is the meaning of my name and is why I titled it that. I felt it would be appropriate.

OK, now that I feel so much better, I will see y'all soon.

Happy Tuesday

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