Sometimes you just need a break

I take this quite seriously for a number of reasons, one of them is for my mental health, I had just become so overwhelmed with letting go of so much grief and pain that it literally made me collapse and I had to go and lie down for three hours. Now when I normally take a nap from the heat or something like that I rest up within about an hour to an hour and a half. For me to sleep for three hours is heavy.

The reason for that this weekend was because Saturday was a year to the day when we gave my maternal grandmother her final send off and memorial service. I was a bawling wreck that day, it literally took hold of me like nothing else out there.

For many people, if not majority in this world, we get to a point where life just becomes too much and we just need to turn inward for a while, sometimes it is a few hours and then they are OK again, for others it can take days before they feel like they can function again. It is OK if this happens, we all need a break sometimes and we don't need to provide a reason or explanation. It happens. Life can become very hard especially in this day and age where the pressure to look a certain way and be a certain way is insanely expected of us. Life has become a competition and its a crazy one.

For those of us that have mental health issues that practically cripple us on a daily basis, I have been very open about my own issues as you know, it is alot more difficult because we have to quite literally force and convince ourselves to get up and ut of bed in the mornings. A good portion of us even have to rely on medication to just get us through a day and to just find a way to function even a little bit. It is no joke, so taking a break from the world is the only way for us to function to some extent

What alot of people need to understand is that it is not something that you just get over, it takes a lot of time and effort to even take a breath and we constantly just feel like we don't want to exist any longer. I am very fortunate that I have a loving and supportive family that are there for me at all times and can help me to get through it and to just be there for me when I need them. It is literally a daily battle and a vast majority do not understand that.

There is nothing wrong with it whatsoever, it is actually an essential tool for our everyday survival to just take time for ourselves and just take a break. I have said this before and I will say it again, self-care is not selfish, it is essential for our survival. It helps us to function at an optimal level.

If I am feeling crap and having a crap day then that is how I feel. I don't feel like I need to explain myself to everyone and when I do, all I hear are generalizations of we are all this and we are all that. Up until recently, as in the last few months, I had someone who did that all the time and was always telling me to keep it real, the one thing I do all the time, what an asshole. I quite literally said to them that they have to do all their stuff themselves because I could not do it anymore and they started laughing as if I was joking, they think life is a joke and as a result, they are their own worst enemy. They are now on their own and I am letting karma deal with them. You get what you give and they gave it to me all the time and I cut them off.

I will not apologize for being a human being who just needs some alone time. I did it for years and people were constantly trying to put their ways on me and they don't work for me and it got me nowhere so every time a situation like that came up then I was the bigger person and walked away because it was the only way to get past it. If you find yourself in a situation that is not getting better then do the right thing and get the hell out of there because I can promise you that no matter what you try to do, it will not work, I tried it numerous times, and the only way to resolve it was to move on with my life.

I speak from experience in many areas of life and I had it held against me for using my brain, a very sharp brain I might add. Thinking for myself is what got me where I am today and so long I am not constantly pressured about things and have the space to breathe and think, everything actually goes quite smoothly.

One thing that people need to understand with me is that when you constantly bombard me with questions about what I am going to do about certain areas of my life, you are not helping, you are actually making it worse so please back up and understand that I am always trying to find a way to get it sorted out and I need you to stop doing that. I understand that you want the answers but I need you to let up and not keep reminding about things I am fully aware of.

I am talking specifically to my family. Others that need to understand are those that keep telling me to get a job somewhere. I cannot be in somebody else's employ, it is not conducive to my mental and emotional well-being. The only thing that works for me is to be self-employed like I am now.

I'll see y'all soon

#blazedesigns #mypassion #selfcare #takingabreak #mentalhealthawareness #selfemployed #healing #loveyourself #lovewhatido #blessed #livinglife #mondaymotivation