Self-reflection

Over the many years since I made that decision to just be myself, I have done alot of self-reflection and introspection to understand why things had been so difficult for me back then. I always used to think that it was my fault and that I was to blame for it.

In reality, it was the opposite. It is very seldom that a young girl with a photographic memory and a genius IQ will walk into school knowing so much and the teachers being upset with my parents for my higher mental functioning.

Many people, my teachers and classmates alike had a tendency to be intimidated and threatened by how effortlessly I absorbed the information. My teachers failed to understand that all they had to do was encourage me in my work and give me other things to do. instead they used to yell at me and then screech at my mother because they are failing to understand that the stimulation and level of work they were giving me was not enough.

Yes, I was bored and needed more things to do. I remember that happened with my grade 2 teacher. I was struggling to concentrate on my work and a spell of boredom struck. As a result my work for the day fell behind, so I was kept back. When my mother came to fetch me at school that day, she was waiting for me in the car and when all the other kids had gone home she came down to my class to find me sitting there almost on the verge of tears from all my teacher's yelling. The teacher then proceeded to start yelling at my mother, big mistake. My mother then pulled the teacher outside to find out the problem. So she asked my teacher what I had to do and then took me home where I was able to complete all my work thanks to my mother's patience and habit of routine which followed me into adulthood. I admit that I never liked that teacher either.

This was just one of many incidents. Other times including during sports matches when all the rest of my teammates would be yelling at me and making me feel like I shouldn't be there. It was rather annoying.

People used to speak down to me as though I had no brains at all. Happened regularly on a daily basis.

Looking back I realise just how much they felt threatened and how all of them used to have a go at me instead of just staying out of my business and respecting me and my privacy.

I remember another time at the end of primary school when we were having our graduation ceremony and we were all sitting in the school hall. Now, there were many people that were expected to get some top awards that night. What surprised everyone was a couple of times when my name was called. I was beyond shocked because I was not expecting to be recognised for anything. Evidently some of my teacher's felt otherwise.

I got all the praise in the world from my family but nothing from them. In a way, it did bother me slightly but not alot. Deep down I knew that I earned those awards that night and still have the certificates for them. It was all because of the hard work I had put in.

I have carried that formula of working hard in order to achieve my goals through to adulthood.

This self-reflection of all I have been through has shaped me into the person that i am today. A stronger version of who I already was and I have to say that I am extremely proud of myself for it.

As the saying goes, hard work pays off. And it has definitely done that for me.

#blazedesigns #mypassion #hardworkpaysoff #selfrelection