Recovering from traumatic events

At some point in our lives we are all going to go through a traumatic event of some kind. I am no different. It has happened twice in which I was seriously affected. The first one I have spoken about was the mugging, the other happened in February 2007.

It was around 01:10am on a Thursday morning, 8 Feb to be exact. My brother had been the last to go to bed that night and just as he turned off the last light switch he heard one of the burglar bars snap off from a window that my father had accidentally forgot to close I had already been in bed since about 9pm, I was on my time of the month at the time as well so I wasn't really feeling that well. I was suppose to have lectures at varsity the following day so I needed the rest. So around the time mentioned the burglars came back to get what they came for which was anything they could find. The one that came into the house was looking around gathering the things he thought they could sell. At around this time he walked into my bedroom and because my door squeaked a bit I was woken up. He pointed a gun in my face and told me to be quiet and also said "If you scream, shout or make a noise I will kill you you fucking bitch." He was looking for my jewellery which had safely been hidden away. I told him I didn't have any which was a lie but I was doing my best to just stay as calm as possible but I was absolutely terrified. He got my phone, a bit of silver out my purse, some costume earrings and my phone which I had not even had for a year, a Motorola L7. My pride and joy, I loved that phone. While he was trying to look for things from me he held the gun directly to my head so I knew the gun was a real one and not a toy. A toy one would have scratched but this was cold so it was steel..

We had an alarm system installed in the house but because we had sensors in every room and no "green zone" because all the bedrooms were in separate parts they couldn't set it that way and the alarm couldn't be set at night. The only way my parents found out what had happened, and they had not heard a thing despite being in their room in the front of the house, my mom had gotten up to go to the toilet about two hours after it had happened and when she was on her way back she noticed the window open and the burglar bar bent inward. She rushes into their room and informs my father about what has happened, at which point, he flew out of bed. They start going through the house to see what was gone including their phones and a BB Gun (air pistol) and my brother's Playstation 2 as well as a commemorative lighter that my dad had gotten from one of his previous jobs years before. My mom had woken my brother up to tell him and when he went storming back to his room cursing and swearing.

It was at this point when I came out of my room shaking like nothing else out there and went straight up to my mom, pulled her into my room and told her that I had been held at gunpoint. She told my dad who then asked why I had not come and told them but because I was so frozen from fear and shock, I could not tell if they were still in the house. The security company were then called and they responded to the call, upon their arrival I told them what had happened at which point it was called in to the control room who called the police. The police came and took my statement, a while later, we had another two visits from the police as well as fingerprints and the station commander coming to get suspect descriptions as I had seen the face of the one that held me up. This all transpired in the space of about four hours, so they had been really quick. Out of all the visits from police, three female officers had been deployed to the scene as a young woman, myself, had been affected.

Once this had all been done, it was time for econ and getting phones and stuff sorted out. I called a friend who worked at Nashua Mobile at the time, who came to help us get sim swaps done. She was there very quickly and we got that done. Neither my brother nor myself went to varsity or college that day. I was very stubborn and putting off going for trauma counselling after it had happened. I was about to start a modelling course two days later. I had gone for the first day and went to work thereafter, that day was very unpleasant for me as I was still in heavy shock that day at work. I only broke down that night two days later. The night after it happened I was unable to sleep in my own bed by myself so my mom came and slept in my room with me and the from the following night for about a month I slept in their room with my mom and my dad slept in my room.

I did eventually go for counselling about a month later and thereafter was able to sleep in my own room after that. It took about a year before I could sleep with an open window again after we had moved out and sold the house. We did that about six months after the incident because we just didn't feel safe in the house anymore.

After this happened it took me almost three years to be around a gun being used or fired again, my dad had worked in the industry for quite a while and I have had training to use one. I am now able to be around guns without any trace of fear nowadays so I seem to be recovering quite well even though it was years ago. It still haunts me because I have never told the story publicly so most people are going to be shocked to read about it happening to me.

Many people say to just get over it and for most of them, they have never been though it so it does seem quite callous for someone to say that until it does happen to them and then it becomes, now I know how you feel. It can happen to any of us, it is not specific to any age, race or culture.

As time goes by it does get better so long as you make sure that you get the necessary help to deal with it. Don't be stubborn and put it off like I did. It took alot of convincing to get me to actually go for counselling.

I am also one of the lucky ones to have survived. I could have also been raped or shot or both and left for dead. I am very lucky to be alive today to tell my story.

That book is really starting to sound very appealing as an idea right now.

#blazedesigns #mypassion #survivingtheodds #gratitudeforliving #blessed #lovewhatido