Choices and resolutions

So we are coming up to that point in the year if we are not here already when we are looking at what new years resolutions to make. My take on these resolutions is quite simple, I don't make any.

This is for one simple reason, I don't want to set myself up for disappointments during the year. So, instead, what I do is look at what happened over the last year and then work on improving my position in those aspects of my life. I don't want to set unrealistic expectations for myself. I am a perfectionist and I want things to work out preferably exactly the way I want but if I am too hard on myself then my anxiety is going to kick in and I am going to go into a flat spin trying make everything the way it was.

This is why I always find things to do with my hands because it allows me to focus on something in particular and then work on that to get it going and if I was already busy with it during the year then i will gain the tools to better my position in that area of my life.

Everyday of our lives on this earth is a chance to improve on the day before so rather take each day as it comes. The problem that I have with people that make new year's resolutions is that they try to do things that they are not mentally prepared for and when they don't achieve those things then they sink into a depressive state over it and then beat themselves up and think they are a disappointment to all their loved ones around them.

If you are going to make new year's resolutions, please be realistic about them and don't go around saying that you are going to do something that everyone knows you will not achieve. The prevalence rate of suicide and depression is high enough already, in fact, its way too high for even one person. This is the time of year where it actually increases especially among teenagers because they feel like they have no one to talk to or will understand what they are going through.

I found myself in that position once and had it not been for my family and my loved ones, I would have killed myself a long time ago. Sometimes I still get suicidal thoughts but that is when the anxiety kicks in and I get frustrated when things are not going the way I want them to. Thankfully it is alot better and I just take a deep breath and keep working on it until it works out the way I envisioned it.

Many people do not know these things about me so that is why I am writing these blog posts so that I can tell the story and in recent weeks I have found the confidence to get it out of my system. I have been through so much in my life I could probably write an entire book about it. The thought has recently crossed my mind so watch this space, you may just get my life story very soon.

So when making choices about certain things, I look at the whole picture and not just what I have in front of me. If I can tell from my own observations that this is not right then I will leave it and move on to the next available option.

Some people get very frustrated with me when I do this but when they discover that my choice was the right choice they battle to understand why but I prove to them and to myself that I was right to abandon this option. I think sometimes my parents still struggle with this because they keep telling me to go in this direction even though it is wrong for me. Only recently did they give up pushing me in a particular direction especially my father and my mother but my mother was the first to back off about this.

So its quite simple, don't be too hard on yourself and put unnecessary pressure on yourself and set your expectations too high. Be realistic and take each day as it comes. Work on things day by day and see how things turn out and then work on it from there.

That's what I do and it works for me.

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