Anxiety and relationships
- Helen
- Jan 25, 2020
- 4 min read
It still baffles me how some people still respond to a person in this situation and think that they are helping the person who suffers from any form of anxiety. Saying things like "just relax" or "just take a deep breath you will be fine" do not actually calm the mind of a person in this situation. It actually makes it worse.
The battle is not with the person itself, it is in their heads. The mental response they are going through is one that needs to be calmed, not the person. When the mind calms, only then will the person become calm once more.
Being out in nature and a calming environment does aid in this. I would know, that is why I always go to the park across the road from my house, the same park that I go for a walk/run in the mornings. I went for a walk this afternoon because it was raining quite heavily this morning and the trail was dangerously slippery, as I discovered when I took a stroll. Actually glad I gave this morning a miss. Nature is the most powerful healer ever and will always have the necessary effect.
A very important thing to remember is not to boss the person around and get demanding with them, it makes them uncomfortable and makes them shut down. Some people still do this to me and the message to actually let up is not registering in their minds or they heard what I was asking but think that the next time they see me to ask, they think it will have happened by then. Depending on the severity of the condition, it could take years to get into the right head space and for them to take control of their lives in a way that they can function on a seemingly normal level.
In some instances, yes, it has taken many years for me to function in such a way that I am not bursting into tears at every turn which is what was happening right before I was diagnosed officially and only once I knew the exact situation was when my mind started to calm down. When I react to a negative situation, sometimes I will just go completely quiet from utter disbelief or it will be an argument with someone who means well and wants to help and I end up crying uncontrollably. My official diagnosis which pinpointed the type of anxiety only came in December 2008, only thereafter and leaving the job I was in did I really start to find my feet in this world. I still have a way to go but at least I am alot better
There are many people that are still not aware of my condition and what it has put me through but the people that know are the ones that are surprised but understand what I go through. Possibly because they have family members or other friends that face a similar situation.
As a result of the extent of my recovery, I am now very much more comfortable in my own skin and dress to show it off because I have accepted myself and show that I am me and let the whole world see it.
I even wear makeup everyday now, I feel lost and naked if I don't. This was because I battled to get the application techniques right and the amount to put on. I would even be told it was too much and some people who knew I had too much on would only tell me after I had looked like a fool, that I had too much makeup on. How embarrassing.
I actually appreciate the friends that did take off the excess without hesitation, it at least eased the humiliation a bit.
Now you get looks like today's one:
Even my jewellery style has changed from what it was, I used to only wear gold or silver. Now I wear and make the colourful and eccentric pieces that I have become known for and showcase at least one piece a day with my outfits. In today's case, it is the necklace.
I am telling you about my journey to show you that it is possible to take control of your life when you suffer from anxiety or depression or both in my case, the depression is very mild and an almost complete recovery made, maybe another year or so to go and it will be a distant afterthought in my mind
All my relationships are so much stronger now than they used to be and I am so happy about it. All because I made that choice to just be myself and see where the world took me. Well the world has brought me to the best place and mental space that I have ever been in and I love it.
Well, until next time, see y'all soon.
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